If you clicked on this, then you are either eager to learn about this peaceful way of living, or you are probably asking: “why should I make excuses for people, especially when they don’t do the same?’’
And even though this is a very valid question, what I would like you to understand is this:
Just as you wouldn’t say you want to start lying and/or cursing just because those around you are doing the same, then you shouldn’t live your life based on the reflection and actions of others towards you.Tweet
If you do, it would only plant more hurt, pain, negativity, and bitterness inside of you and this would go beyond trying to hit back at a friend into shaping who you actually become.
You’re to imbibe a positive and peaceful habit regardless of the behavior of those around you.
I know you’re probably curious yet again, and you’re asking: ‘’will this not make people think I am stupid?’’ Good question, but I want you to know that the goal behind this is not to turn you into someone who cannot fight for his or her right, the goal is to teach you to stay true to who you are regardless of the behaviour of those around you.
When you are able to shine your own ‘light’ in the midst of the ‘darkness’ around you, then you’d be building in yourself a positive and peaceful habit.
Now, that being said, starting off with a personal story, let’s explore why giving people excuses could help you live a much more meaningful, peaceful, and centered life.
About 2 years ago, I always read meaning to every face people give me. I quickly draw negative conclusions without any concrete backup information.
So, if for example, someone looks at me with a ‘funny face’, I start thinking ‘’oh. This guy is so proud that he cannot even greet me anymore?” Or ‘’oh. so, he is jealous because I now have a new phone?’’
My ego got so big that even if someone really dear to me (my partner actually) fails to call me, I’d quickly draw conclusions again and go…’’ I know she is taking me for granted because she thinks I can’t do without her.’’
And because of this, I would be so angry and bitter!
But more often than not, especially after I win over my ego and summon the courage, or humility if you will, I get to realize that it was never what I thought. My conclusions are usually wrong. And you know the funniest part…this person I’m pained at doesn’t even know about my frustration!
The funny face they gave turned out to be because they were experiencing some sort of pain/hurt in their life, or they couldn’t call because there is just a poor network signal on their end, or they are out of credit/cash. 90% of the reason why I was angry at them were based on my own biased and wrong conclusions!
Now, imagine if I had made some excuse for these people? When that my friend gave me the ‘’funny look’’ what if I had assumed that I was not the problem, and they probably were not feeling too well? What if I assumed that my partner was probably having a bad day instead of making myself wrongly believe that I was the problem? I wouldn’t have been as angry and/or bitter, yes? Definitely.
And many of us experience this…
We draw out conclusions and make certain projections which are mostly negative and based only on what we see on the surface.
But rather than drowning in anger, bitterness, and frustration, what if we choose to start making excuses for people? By doing this, we get to put our mind in a place of rest/peace.Tweet
You see, making excuses is not outrightly for the person, it’s basically for you. It’s for you to esteem your own peace and sanity above all.
It’s about you esteeming your peace and protecting yourself from frustration, hurt, bitterness and depression.
When you make excuses for people, you’re training your mind for peace that doesn’t waver.
If you’ve read to till point, then something probably caught your attention! I’ll like to hear from you in the comments.