How to Rebuke in Love

The word “rebuke” is not so friendly, right? I know. Getting rebuked or corrected can be very painful at times; as it requires being truly honest with oneself, to see that you are actually in the wrong, and deserve to be scolded.

Receiving rebuke is seeing yourself in accurate eyes!

Now, however painful rebuking may seem, it is very instrumental in becoming a better person. No man is perfect, hence, you would surely make some mistakes that would require you being corrected.

But there is good news, rebuke can be done in love!

Yes, the fact that being rebuked, or rebuking someone may not be a sweet, love-dovey experience, yet, the person giving the rebuke can be loving and empathetic in their approach.

Below are some ways to rebuke in love:

1. Have a genuine motive

In order to rebuke in love, you need to do it genuinely, and not hypocritically, or with the aim to shame the person. Genuinely caring about the person would help you do it in a loving and helpful manner.

2. Don’t be critical

Being critical and judgemental is not the same thing as rebuking! Rebuke is done to correct, and not to demean, or judge the person in the wrong. Be kind with your words!

3. Be truthful

As much as you are trying to be kind in your words, do not sugarcoat what you have to say. Be very truthful, and straight to the point, without sounding critical.

4. Be clear

Be plain and clear with it, in order not to confuse the person, or arouse suspicion, as to what your real intentions are.

5. Give solutions and follow up

In rebuking in love, telling the person what they did or is doing wrong is not enough. If you can, tell them what they can do, in order to avoid such mistakes in the future. Eg: To read a book, pray, be more patient, etc.

6. Don’t look down on the person

Never ever demean or look down on the person. In fact, if you do that, it is only a reflection of who you are as a person, and not what the other person did wrong.

Receiving rebuke is very instrumental to our growth as Teenagers. And this can be done by anyone; spiritual leaders, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Don’t take it personally. Rather, extract the truth from what is being said and decide to be a better person.


We all should constantly learn to rebuke in love and strive to get better daily.