It is really not comfortable living behind a mask; It may be comfortable for some, but definitely not all, like me. I have serious issues whenever I’m not being real with myself, and apart from the fact that I can be shy-shy sometimes, being non-original makes me crawl into my shell. My self-confidence flies off like a piece of paper.
There was a time I tried to make my poems ‘sound’ like some other poets’ work I admire. It’s not a bad idea anyway, but it ruined it for me. Haha! It has probably worked, working, or will work for some, but for me? I don’t even know what to say. Maybe I tried too hard, don’t you think?
There’s always a space for improvement. I wanted to improve so bad, I wanted people to read me and be wowed, I wanted to win contests too (who doesn’t want to be a winner?), I wanted to prove someone wrong, but then I failed to remember ME. I tried and wrote different things, I wanted to be ‘poetic’. I would write a line, then read someone’s else’s work, see the pattern, then turn back to mine. Very frustrating moments. Well, it worked-and-did-not-work. I wrote those poems but I wasn’t fulfilled. I read my poems and I sometimes see someone else in it; I didn’t like that. I want to be able to read my work over twenty times and still have that smile on my face, I don’t want to read for the third time and regret ever showing someone else, let alone a large population.
I returned to me. I mean, I shut everything out and decided to find me. I am original and I am responsible for the brand I create myself to be. It’s fine to read and learn from other people but it’s not fine to try so hard to be like them. I believe we all have our separate audiences; if you decide to copy someone else just so you will get as much audience as them, you may not succeed. I have found and I’m still finding my voice, one I am comfortable with and can be proud of anywhere, because I know that when it re-echoes, I’ll hear my voice still and not that of someone else.
Make your own brand, find your own voice and master it well. Photocopy isn’t always the same as the original.
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