“Baba Sade! Baba Sade!! Please, leave me alone!!!” Iya Sade shouted with a trembling voice.
“Is it me you are shouting at?” Baba Sade replied with a thunderous voice.
Before Iya Sade could say Jack Robinson, three hot slaps landed on her plump cheek and tears rolled down like the heavy October rain that flooded Lekki.
Sade, unable to understand how to put a stop to the excesses of her parents, especially her dad, went up into her room and started crying. She wept uncontrollably! Memories of how sweet and loving her parents were, flooded her mind.
“What went wrong?” she asked no one in particular.
“I don’t think I want to get married in the future,” she said out loud.
Her younger brother, Made, already believes it is right for a man to beat his wife since he is the head of the family.
Sade couldn’t remember the last time her parents had gone to bed without a fight.
She wept till she, unknowingly, slept off.
The story above depicts a typical Nigerian family in which the man believes he is the head of the family and can therefore, treat his wife the way he likes.
The adverse effect of this kind of mindset is very devastating, especially on teenagers.
The family is a powerful tool which if wielded and used in the right way can solve major problems of a nation.
Two things can happen to Sade:
> She either believes a woman, which she will ultimately become, is always meant to be lower compared to a man;
> She grows up to become an extremist (I’m careful not to use the word ‘feminist’ because I don’t see anything wrong in ladies standing for their rights.)
The effect of the former is that Sade would lose her self esteem and will therefore become a nonentity, a nobody, in the hands of a man. Because of her belief, her talents will be hidden and she will not rise to become the great woman God had destined her to be.
The effect of the latter is that she will not be able to submit to anyone and will therefore not enjoy a good, sustainable relationship with a man.
These are highly devastating effects.
Made, on the other hand, who already believes it is right for a man to beat his wife will turn out to become an “educated-illiterate” and will also not enjoy a good, long-lasting relationship with any woman.
The effects of Domestic Violence on Teenagers are highly devastating and unless something is done to renew the mindset of those who grew up in homes where these happenings occur, the society will have to bear the brunt.
“Charity begins at HOME.” True!!! If Parents fail to show good examples of a lifestyle that teens can model after, the society will be a big mess. Reason being that, men often act on what they believe and if what they believe is wrong, there will be chaos as such mindset can be transferred from generation to generation unless there’s a RENEWAL.
If you are a parent and you are reading this, please try as much as possible, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to raise children in the way of the Lord.
And if you are a teenager reading this, know that your parents only act at the level they know. If they knew better, they will act better. Trust me, I know what it means to experience domestic violence but it isn’t the end of life. Rather, learn from your experience(in a positive way) and use it as a stepping stone to building better relationships and live a love-filled life with the help of the Holy Spirit.
About the Writer:
Solomon Eneojo is an undergraduate of English Language in the University Of Lagos. An aspiring OAP, a lover of kids and one who is passionate about Teens. If he isn’t writing, he’s listening to music or reading. You can add him up on Facebook. His id is Hrh Eneojo Change.
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