…We agreed to meet at exactly 2pm in my guest house. We were so excited about the evening, as we collapsed in each other bodies after our yet exotic love-making, just to see the face of the person who opened the door of our room gave me a shock I could never relieve myself from… Excerpt from the last part
The look on that face gave me chills in my inner bones. My heart raced faster than a thunder bolt. Oh my God, I was so petrified, the only voice that brought me back to reality was the sweet melodious voice of my Dayo announcing to my fear gripped body, that it was only a dog. I must tell you, for a minute, I thought the day which I dreaded the most had finally approached. I knew sooner or later it had to stop but I didn’t know how to live without Dayo even if I tried. I tried breathing again the moment chubby, our dog walked further more into our shamefully shared room. She just wiggled her tailed, waiting for me to carry her. She was indeed beautiful. My husband’s mother gave her to us on our first year wedding anniversary. For some reason, she said this dog will always be our symbol of love but I never understood it since I never loved her son, so I was not interested in asking what it meant. I almost died of heart attack thinking that it could have been someone else who might have opened that door. This my little secret ain’t little anymore. I felt consumed with guilt, but my heart didn’t want our sinful relationship to die. I love Dayo wholeheartedly but I wished I could stop seeing him.
I tried loving my husband, I tried looking at him the way I looked at Dayo. I tried laughing at his joke even if I find them less amusing and obnoxious most times. I tried being the wife most husband would crave to have but my heart was set for another man already.
How do I leave this pit that I am in right now? I want my husband and I to enjoy a blissful marriage. I want our matrimonial home to be filled with honey and laughter. I want to be the woman he thinks I am but I couldn’t love him, it made me unable to reciprocate the mutual feeling every couple is supposed to share, since we were bounded together by the sacredness of marriage. Dayo suggested we stopped seeing each other; my heart bled at that instant. I knew it was for the best, probably he was erupted with guilt since he still had to go home everyday to face his wife and lie to her face that he loved her. Maybe it is I who he had been lying to all those years, I can’t tell but I certainly have no regrets concerning our deeds, except for my poor husband who I have to see everyday. He never stops telling me how much he loves me. I just indulge and acknowledge his comments. I wanted to be the christian I claimed to be. The number one rule was to stop cheating. I changed my number and pleaded to my husband we leave town and move to another state, so we could start all over again. He concurred because it was the first time I asked for anything pertaining myself personally.
The new environment was soothing and it brought a new kind of love between my husband and I. I started to see him as handsome. I noticed the day the Ndubisi’s invited us for their white wedding ceremony. My husband was looking so smart and incredibly gorgeous. Every young and single ladies even the married ones couldn’t take their eyes off him.They will all turn to give him a second look using their eyes to undress him.Sure, I was looking beautiful as ever but I felt a bit of jealousy crumbled across every width of my heart. I guess that was the first time I really noticed my husband since I got married to him, because I didn’t want to remain single out of fear of being depressed and mentally insane.
My husband did not stop telling me how beautiful I looked. His gaze was all over me like as though I beamed brighter than the topaz of Ethiopia. We got home later on that night, I allowed him to touch me in way I once felt repulsive with. I enjoyed every moment with him, but Dayo kept ringing on my mind. I wanted to divulge each and every detail to him that night but I decided the past be kept buried since our new start was going smoothly than I anticipated. I felt unbearably blameworthy and judged, still I silenced my thoughts and wallowed in my new-found love for the love of my life. I was vastly happy with my husband and I mourn for those days I allowed whirl away because of my lustful moments with a married man. It was really a sumptuous and phenomenal start for both of us. For the first time, I genuinely declared my love towards my husband. He even spoils me with gifts as if he is still trying to win me over like our dating days.
I was really starting to feel dexterous and I finally got to understand the true meaning of love, not those hideous passion Dayo and I once shared. This was without impropriety and unworthiness. I felt like I was on top of the world.
Two days earlier I got a call from a strange number out of inquisitiveness I picked only to listen to that meek voice that once brisk my soul before. That voice will always hold me captive no matter how hard I try to forget or I think I shank. I heard a cry next and I felt awkwardly remorsefully for him. Dayo apologized for calling our relationship off. He said he had searched for me everywhere to the extent of calling my cousin to request for my number, saying he was a distant colleague who needed to pass an important information across to me. He implored me to give him my address which I desperately absconded from him. After days of pleading and tears, I decided to see him and tell him to forget about me since I was now in love with my husband. I didn’t want anything or anyone to tear us apart even if it was Dayo. I yielded and gave him the address to my house since I didn’t feel like going anywhere else because Dayo would insist we meet at a hotel and that always end in places I wasn’t really excited about right now. My husband wouldn’t be home for another three days and our house-help, Rose was at home so it felt safer that way.
As soon as Dayo arrived, he hugged me till the extent that I was gasping for air. He cried and told me never to abandon him that way again. I knew at that moment that I should conceal the actual reason I asked him to come to my house and just be the friend he needs right now since that is all I could be. I talked to him for some hours till I finally decided it was time to take the bull by the horn. As I was about to, my phone rang and I was to pick a very important item that just came from the United States. I should have sent Rose to go pick it but it was so delicate and I couldn’t risk the chances of listening to apologies. I waited for this item for about two months so I had to go. I told Dayo that I would be back shortly and took Rose along since she would drop half way to the market. It took longer than I expected and by the time I was half way home, I saw my husband’s missed calls. He called about eight times. I knew it was urgent so I promised to call him as soon as I stay off the road.
As I arrived home, I saw a cab in the compound and thought that perhaps, Rose must have been the one who boarded a taxi since the foodstuff were quite heavy. I walked inside the house, only to find blood spilling everywhere. I was so terrified. “what have they done”? that was the only question I could audibly ask. Oh no! Tears were all over my eyes, I doubted if I could see properly. Why did you kill him? Why? What happened? Say something please? Don’t you dare die, not now. I need you please. All I knew was that some men in black uniform came and picked my husband for the murder of Dayo. How could he have done that? HOW?
I still can’t explain what happened that day but all I knew was, I three months pregnant. I don’t know the father of my unborn child. I am so confused it was three-month ago since Dayo and I were involved in any intimate relationship and it is also two months and two weeks since my husband and I started having intimate relationship. So who is the father of my unborn child? Why did my husband kill Dayo? I craved for answers as I went to the police station to see my husband and he gave me the news of my life…
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