You know, in looking for the missing thing, I tried so many things, including lesbianism with my very little sister, sexual urges and attempts at a young age, watching porn and the height was a boyfriend who didn’t want anything else for me to prove my love other than my nude pictures and Honey voice notes. I did all these, trying to look for a missing piece.
I had hated the opposite sex cause my mum was domestically violated by my dad for years. I can remember mopping pool of my mother’s blood, cleaning her injuries and telling her everything would be okay, I didn’t know that I just said it then.
My reason for wanting to share this is to basically encourage a lot of young adults going through challenges that might seem to overwhelm them and just put God aside. I am a lover of Christ but growing up wasn’t so easy, I didn’t grow up in a house where we had to wake up early to have devotion or was told to know memory verses or even read my bible and report what I read back to any body but I just always knew there was something missing inside of me.
As young girl growing up, I grew up with a lot of wrong and right influences I remember I had this uncle who stayed with us and tried to teach me how to steal from my parents. You know, in looking for the missing thing, I tried so many things, including lesbianism with my very little sister, sexual urges and attempts at a young age, watching porn and the height was a boyfriend who didn’t want anything else for me to prove my love other than my nude pictures and Honey voice notes. I did all these, trying to look for a missing piece.
I had hated the opposite sex cause my mum was domestically violated by my dad for years. I can remember mopping pool of my mother’s blood, cleaning her injuries and telling her everything would be okay, I didn’t know that I just said it then.
I remember vividly when I was just 12 or 13, I used to have this pneumonia that was really serious, every time it came, I felt like I was dying cause I couldn’t even breath properly but one night when it got too much, I took my bible, read some words and prayed hard since it wasn’t like we don’t go to church; in fact, we did every Sunday. The pneumonia disappeared afterwards.
I went to a secondary school where no one really cared if you were spiritual or not and going to church when I was in boarding house was to dress well and get noticed by the fine boys in church. I was in SS3 then and all my life, I just played along with everything and always found myself struggling to fit in until I went away after secondary school to school somewhere else for a while. That was where I really got to know a bit about this God and accepted him as my personal saviour in 2013, but even at that I still didn’t feel complete and I kept searching since there was really no one to put me through the whole Christian thing after I left the school.
After that, I went to school in a place even farther from home than the first, although I wasn’t still sure about the whole Christian thing, I just kept on going to church and living my normal life but one day, I started to feel like I was beginning to be complete, then I knew I needed more of whatever it was that was making me feel that way and it was God, so I wanted to know him more.
I kept on attending the small church I was attending. I noticed I was growing in bits from “I can’t pray for more than 5 minutes” to praying for 30 minutes and even speaking in tongues. I was like whattt?! As I kept hearing more of what I needed to do to get to know this God better, I automatically started cutting off the ties in my life cause I didn’t want to lose this person that was finally making me feel a bit complete. I stopped doing a whole lot of things; it wasn’t easy and it took time but I did and now I can do anything for my God and proclaim his name anywhere.
Where am I driving to with this?
Christ is the only one that can complete you if you feel something is missing in your life. Ask yourself if you have Christ. When you are complete in Christ first, then every other thing would start to take its place. You may feel like you have done worse than I did but God’s mercies are new every morning; honestly his bank of mercy is so rich he’s called the father of mercy.
Christ gives hope and the hope we have in Christ is the only reason we are sure of a better tomorrow. Now, I can’t even remember when last my parents even insulted each other if not a joke, every thing in my life is finally beginning to fall in place and yes, I still have days I feel aren’t so good days but when I think of how merciful God has been to me, I just want to kneel at his feet and worship him.
This is to encourage you out there who think you have gone too far for God to save and restore everything you’ve lost. The devil is the father of lies, so whatever he’s telling you is a lie and will always be; the only person I know that tells the truth is Jesus, that’s why the bible calls him the way, the truth and the life.
God loves you and wants the best for you.
You can reach out to this lady in the comments below or send an email to teensmeetonline@gmail.com and we’ll definitely deliver your message, since she’s anonymous.
Teens Meet Outreach 