Most people hear the term ‘Emotionally strong’ and think it has to do with ignoring your emotions or never having “emotionally-down moments.” However, being Emotionally strong means acknowledging your emotions, owning them, and healthily responding to them.
For instance, you had a bad day at work, and your boss said hurtful things. This makes you feel so bad you want to cry. In a situation like this, most people will try to act all tough and handle the situation by, maybe, saying horrible things behind their bosses to get back at them and feel better. Some others might bottle it all inside and build a grudge.
Being emotionally strong, however, means you accept the emotion. In this case, you’d probably cry it out and accept that you’re hurt; then, you can reflect on why your boss said those things and discover how to prevent this from happening again. I know you probably thought crying was a sign of weakness, but it is not.
Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.
Charlotte Brontë.
So now that you know what being ‘Emotionally Strong’ means, let’s move to some of the things Emotionally Strong people do.
Traits of Emotionally Strong People
1. They Control their Attention, not Emotions.
It’s not an easy task to control how you feel, especially difficult emotions like anger, sadness, and depression. Emotionally strong people take control of their attention rather than letting their minds bounce around according to their instinct. Instead of focusing on controlling the emotion, why don’t you try controlling where your attention is and what you’re focusing on?
This is a more realistic approach. For example, instead of thinking of how angry that person made you, why not engage in an activity that can take your mind off it, like going for a stroll or a short run? That way, you’ll feel better and avoid apologizing for saying many things you didn’t mean.
2. They Practice Compassionate Self-talk.
Being emotionally strong does not necessarily mean being hard on yourself. This approach can eventually make one seem emotionless or present you as a hard-hearted being to others in the long run. Emotionally strong people, however, talk compassionately to themselves. When they make mistakes, they don’t feel embarrassed or say abusive words to themselves. Instead, they say it’s part of the process; everyone makes mistakes now and then, and theirs is no exception.
Practice telling yourself that you have become more knowledgeable with each mistake. When you do this, your mind will start accepting it as the truth, and you’ll focus on the positive aspect of mistakes instead of feeling sad or embarrassed.
3. They do not Dwell on Things they Cannot Change.
Most people waste time thinking about the past or regretting an action they’d taken in the past, but the truth is, What’s done is done; there’s no point thinking about it because there’s nothing you can do to change it. However, you have control of the present and can influence the future. Emotionally strong people have this mindset, saving them time and energy. This way, they focus more on what they can do presently to improve the future.
4. They Build Boundaries.
To be Emotionally strong, you need to set boundaries! Set boundaries on what you let inside your heart. One way to do this is to choose the people you listen to, do not listen to people who make jest of your mistakes, make you feel insecure, or make it seem like their life is all set and rosy. Move with people who acknowledge your efforts, and celebrate your success. This is one of the things emotionally strong people do to boost their self-esteem.
5. They Make Decisions Based on Values.
Emotions can be very misleading most of the time; you can feel so emotional and say many things you don’t mean. Listen to and acknowledge your emotions, but never make decisions based on how you feel. Emotionally strong people never act impulsively; they’d probably regret it later.
In Summary,
Emotional, strong people make these five steps a habit:
1. Control their attention to situations.
2. Practice compassionate self-talk.
3. They do not dwell on things they cannot control.
4. They build boundaries.
5. They make decisions based on values.
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