Fear!

My fear is appreciating people’s thought about who I am.
Succumbing to the feeling of people’s opinion about myself.
Trying to find where I belong in people’s smile.
Wanting to please everyone despite the weight of unhappiness in me.
Fighting for a spot in people’s heart, even though it is not vacant.
Craving to stay on that ground that can’t even contain my glory.
Crying day and night for the love that was never mine.
My fear is people hating me,
My fear is giving someone a chance to know my weakness and then turn back to hurt me.
My fear is feeling unworthy and empty, because someone is too abstract to see how wonderful I really am.
My fear is holding on to the past for too long.
My deepest fear is starting all over again, even if promises were made.
My fear is grasping on someone who has left me a mile away.
Comparing myself with people, just because someone didn’t see me enough.
Belittling my every worth night and day.
My fear is Moving forward and never looking back.
My fear is, thinking there’s nothing better than what I have lost.
It is a lie, I am better than their opinion.
They have wanted to put their insecurities in me, making me feel like I’m not good enough.
Making me guess where I belong, when it is clear that I am a queen from the inside.
I try to look at myself in the mirror, even if what I see is fragments of hurt, pain and broken trust.
I know I can be free from all this burden, but I seem to find solace thinking I have something I can wallow about in my alone time.
My fear is getting better than I used to be.
My fear is making people feel intimidated about who I am.
I stood tall, but my legs were too shaky with doubt.
My thoughts were clouded with pains and rejection.
My confidence has depreciation with anxiety of knowing where I truly belong.
My love level seem too cowardly.
I feel my outer beauty has dried up because of the way I feel inside.
I try so hard to be like their version of me, but it is wearing me out, claiming who I’m not.
Okay, I need help.
Jesus clean me and make me whole, not because I’m helpless but because my thoughts and doubt are wearing me out and making my self-esteem sink lower than my own shadow, which is afraid of the sun.
I want to look at my life, knowing that my full happiness was in no one control but HIS.


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