Who I Thought My Father Was

I was privileged to learn from few ladies’ experience of childhood days on Saturday and we all had one thing in common- we want to be a better parent than our parents. From a lady’s experience, I understood that it took some efforts and Christ’s love to forgive her parents.

There was a particular time in my life when I hated going home for holidays, I hated the way my dad monitored my every move. My dad is a kind of man who calls his wife and his kids frequently and does not see anything wrong in asking questions like:

What did you eat?
Where are you?
What of your friends?

He ask questions so he can know if you are in a good state or not.

When I gained admission into the University, my roommates did not answer their parents on phone the way I did. Their dad does not call them to ask if they had eaten, what they ate or if they were comfortable with the amount of money he sent.

Since none of them answered calls telling their dad they ate rice or drank custard, I concluded that my daddy was stalking me.

How dumb was I?

Whenever I wanted to post on Facebook, I would be so watchful, should my dad see my post. He would call me to either pull the post down or ask me to tell him about it.

I felt my life was being stalked
I was choked.
I got it all wrong. I wanted to be a free bird, I wanted to do the things I couldn’t do at home but my dad was always like a guardian angel.

He took extra effort to meet my friends and know the kind of people my roommates were.

All this while I felt my dad was too strict on me, he was heartless or something. Then I acted rude sometimes. He was always calm about my attitude.

After my 18th birthday, my dad told me he believes I have things I have always wished with my life. He said I am free to do as I deemed fit with my life.

When I heard that word, I was not happy. I became sober, I felt if I acted stupid, my dad would be betrayed by me.

I was already saved then. I looked at my dad as a good man and not a stalker. I began to see the father who wants the best for me. I allowed my mind reminisce on my childhood memories with him.

I still didn’t get all figured out until last Saturday when I learnt from others experience. I used to be closer to my dad before my teenage days. When I noticed I started having feelings for guys, I withdrew myself from my dad because he was too observant and obviously talks to me about guys and men.

I had this teenage ego and I was bent on doing my own will.

Why am I writing this today? I feel there are so many teenagers who still find it hard to forgive their parents.

Do you feel they have stalked you too much?
They have invaded into your privacy?
They have made you feel bad?

I understand that feeling, I was once punished for an offence I was not guilty of. My dad chose to believe the words of our neighbour over mine. I felt bad, I wrote it in my journal, kept it and called my dad a bad man. My mum stumbled on the book one day and read what I wrote in there. She apologised on his behalf, she said he was angry. I don’t know if she told him but I knew my dad changed afterwards.

I do pray for my parents. I take time to pray that they train my siblings better than I was trained. That they don’t allow my siblings make the mistake I made.

Our parents are our gods
We should love them and pray for them
Whether they are never around or always around. Try to put them in your prayers.

My name is Olayemi and I will be a better mother to my unborn kids. I will always make my parents proud.

I hope you will celebrate your parents after reading this.

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