“You just don’t know how to do anything. Yesterday, you broke the cup while washing, today you slipped and spilled the milk. You are simply of no use”, Tolu’s mother shouted.
Tolu shrank again. She was still struggling with regaining her confidence because her friends laughed at her dress and called it old fashioned. Now, her mum tells her she is no good? Her self-esteem deflates! She feels bad about herself, she feels incapable and looked at her younger sister, Tola. Tola is the lively one who is praised by all and sundry, she is industrious and meticulous, Tolu starts wishing to be like her.
The next day, Tolu dresses the same way Tola did the previous day. Getting to school and expecting to be praised, she gets disappointed as nobody took notice of the change in her dress sense and she shrinks even the more.
Some of us are like Tolu, in our bid to get others to acknowledge us or to see the good in us, we take on the personality of someone else thus concealing our own self.
However, you need to know that there is BEAUTY in being YOURSELF.
Now, I guess you have heard this phrase over time “Be yourself” and you are probably confused on what it really means to be yourself.
Below are some steps on how to discover and accept yourself:
1. Define who you are
Try to define who you are based on your abilities, inabilities, strengths, and weaknesses. We all have varying characteristics which differentiate us from other people. Not everyone is born to write and while some are good at dancing, others are very good singers and songwriters. While some find it difficult to swim or are afraid of heights, others are good jumpers. So, find out who you are, what you find pleasure in and what you do not fancy doing. This would help you overcome comparing yourself with others and boldly carry yourself with honour.
2. Know that no one is perfect
Yeah, no one is! You can never be Miss or Mr. perfect cos you are human and you are bound to make mistakes.
3. Work on your weaknesses
As much as no one is perfect, you should not take that as an excuse to get stuck with a bad habit. Prune yourself from silly habits, try to control your temper some more, quit being careless when doing the dishes, keep your room tidy. In all, keep getting better.
4. Celebrate your strengths
Oh, yes! Don’t ever underestimate your abilities, celebrate them and improve on them. Also, be open to corrections, this is important, as it facilitates growth.
5. Love yourself
You have to love and accept yourself, celebrate who you are irrespective of people’s snide remarks, never underestimate your abilities.
6. Never compare yourself
From one of our blog posts, “The Two chief sources of depression”, the author discussed how comparison breeds depression. Tolu, in the story above, compares herself with her sister, Tola, and still did not feel good about herself.
Never degrade yourself or see yourself as inferior to anybody. Comparison puts you under pressure and ruptures You!
And remember, be yourself; everyone else is already taken – Oscar Wilde
Embrace the beauty that you are!
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