“There’s a scream inside that we all try to hide
We hold on so tight, but we cannot deny,
It eats us alive…”
This is an excerpt from the song “Bird Set Free” by Sia Kate Isobelle Furler. It’s a favourite of mine because it depicts how tough it is to open up and speak about difficult topics, especially for people who have had their trust broken repeatedly.
Whether you’re the introvert whom everyone tries to get out of the shell, or the extrovert that everyone assumes doesn’t need the help and catharsis of deep one-on-one conversations, we all find it difficult on different levels to open up to others.
Whether it’s discussing your fears and goals with a mentor, having a particularly unpleasant honest discussion with a close friend, or being open with God about your personal struggles, finding the courage to have these conversations takes off a considerable weight off the should
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To help open up about these subjects, here are a few pointers.
Before sharing with another person, it is important to understand what the issue is and your feelings concerning it.
There are different approaches to understanding your emotions. Music, writing or art could be good therapy, as well as asking yourself basic questions like “When did this begin?”, “How do I feel about this?”, “What went wrong?”, or “What do I need to do better?”, in an attempt to get a grip on those feelings, whatever they may be, before sharing them with a trusted person.
If you’re on the other side of this table, know that helping another person understand their feelings instead of offering blind sympathy does so much more in the way of dealing with these issues.
Speak to someone you trust
Trust is difficult to build, but it is necessary to have at least one person at every point in time, in whom you can confide. Ensure that he/she is a person of like orientation, who can listen without judgement, empathise, and give the best advice possible when needed.
If you’re on the other side of this table as well, try to put yourself in the shoes of whoever is confiding in you and treat them the way you’d want to be treated. Be a listening ear if that’s all they need, and help them find solutions to whatever the problem might be.
Whatever the outcome of your tough-talk might be, start to work on yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically to come out better!
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