“Always define your relationship with any guy”- Eluwande Elumide Pheobe

Phoebe knows some things aren’t real and shouldn’t be fed at all. Here, she talks about a once-upon-a-time crush who wanted nothing but her, and how peer pressure led her into what she wasn’t comfortable with. Keep reading to know how she got away with it…




I have come to realize that many teenagers are walking towards a particular experience I had as a teenager, so I really do hope that this experience I’m about to share will help someone.

I am Elumide Eluwande Phoebe, and here is my story about a Crush and Peer Pressure

I was in junior secondary school 3 when I met him. It was in an inter-school debate; I was a debater then—the best. I defeated anyone, as long as it had to do with debates.
I was a snub and also a gentle girl, and while it wasn’t pride, some people thought it was.

What got me attracted to him was his love for God at that tender age, or should I say it was his looks?
Everything he said, or did was moderate. He spoke a lot about Christ and, at that tender age, had a ministry.

After the debate, he came to me, asking for just friendship and nothing more; I agreed to be his friend. I didn’t have a phone then so we didn’t get in touch even though the feelings remained.
We met again, when I was in SS1 but we couldn’t talk to each other; while I would have loved to jump on him and all, I couldn’t because I was shy.

He never made funny gestures to me; all he wanted was to be friends with the one everyone called a SNUB—the name students, including his friends, called me. Talking one-on-one wasn’t an easy thing to do, so we chatted via social media.

On the day of his Valedictory Service, I did something very wrong. I didn’t want to go but my friends invited me, so I just had to. Then it happened that those ones I called friends persuaded me to give him a hug if I truly loved him. I really didn’t want to do it but I needed to prove my friends wrong, so I hugged him, and for minutes, he didn’t let me go; leaving me to believe that there was more to our friendship. I did it out of peer pressure.

It was then his behaviour towards me changed, he always wanted to be known with me; his feelings grew with time.
I had to force my way out of him; his so called love; I knew it wasn’t real…

Moral Lessons:

  1. As a teenager, you really do not have to prove people wrong, especially if the aftermath may pose a problem for you.
    The hug was to prove a point to people around me, which wasn’t really needed.

  2. Always define your relationship with any guy, its helps a lot so you won’t get hooked along the line.
    If only I had defined the relationship from the onset, I wouldn’t have had such tough time as I did.


Will you also like to share a personal experience from your teenage years with TMO? Click here for details.


Eluwande Elumide Phoebe

About the Writer

Eluwande Elumide Phoebe is an ambassador for Youth Alive Network (YAN), an aspiring Medical student, and a lady with a high self esteem. She also advocates for Sexual Purity.

You can connect with her on Facebook or via her Email address: eluwandephoebe@gmail.com

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