A teenager shares a part of her that could have been left unshared. She believes a teenager out there would learn from this story. “I learnt more about pornography and I found it so much fun that we even argued on the number of pornographic videos each of us had watched. My academic results were just there; not bad, I was on an average level”~Anonymous
The day I clocked thirTEEN, many things began to change about me, the joy of going to boarding school and switching my uniform from my pinafore to shirt and skirt. I was too overwhelmed, but now, I wish I never attended that school.
My choice of friends there turned me to something else. SS1 was quite okay, I was still a novice so I was on my own all through. SS2; my life started taking a U-shape, I started nursing my lustful ambition. It was just God’s grace that kept me from being a Lesbian.
I learnt more about pornography and I found it so much fun that we even argued on the number of pornographic videos each of us had watched. My academic results were just there; not bad, I was on an average level.
One very important part of me that changed was the gap that was built between my dad and I. I hated him so much, cos of some of the things he does; none were/are appealing, not even to my siblings. My hate probably went overboard.
Along the line, I started falling in and out of relationships with the opposite sex, and I couldn’t dare mention it at home. My first relationship was a hit; I enjoyed myself, I felt I was enjoying unknown to me that I was moving close to destruction.. I did all other things except sex (I’m always scared of that thing called sex?)
But all these times, I loved Christ, even though I was yet to confess him but I was active in church, you’d see me in almost all units because I hate seeing any unit slacking. If you ask me, I’ll tell you the right guidance was missing in my life; my parents are (not) Christians, they are church goers, so they never trained us in that line.
All they know is that, go to school, get good grades, go to church, and they must see you singing and people clapping for you.
My first dating experience began on the 1st of January 2012. It was on a Sunday; my mates were in the church, and I was busy playing love? In a twinkle of an eye, he kissed me! That first kiss feeling!
We continued dating, and I finished school later in 2013, wrote my first Jamb and had a score of 198 out of 400. It automatically meant university was a NO that year.
My parents weren’t too disappointed cos it seemed like it flows in the blood, but I pulled myself out of the heredity (the number of JAMB exams my siblings wrote are uncountable).
During the times I was at home, I got born again, I learnt hairdressing, tho I had an idea before then…
In August 2013, I got baptized in the Holy Ghost at our youth convention but because I had no one to share my pains with, I was just doing my thing the way I could.
There was no proper milk of the word, I didn’t have a war room because I didn’t see a reason to, and I lived my life like that.
Everything was working out pretty well; you know God owe no man anything, God keeps blessing me, I know it’s not because of my righteousness, even though I could speak in tongues, I was not a bit close to righteousness.
As per the fact that God loves me, 3 different people told me to quit the relationship, but those ones couldn’t give me a reason to stop. I saw them as oversabi…
The day the third person told me, it really pricked me in my heart, though I was not given enough reason to stop, I just decided that I will stop, but I found it very difficult. I couldn’t stand not talking to him in a day, even though it was a long distance relationship, I was so lost in lust!!!
I summoned courage to tell him; he agreed but not fully. We tried to break up, but within a week, we were back again, and we continued…..
Not long, we started having issues; issues kept coming; we kept on breaking up and coming together again…. Till we finally broke up in January, 2016—this year.
In between the relationship with Timmy, a ‘prophet ‘… (I still don’t know how true till today) said “he saw me singing, and the heavens were opened that he also saw me in white, that sooner or later, I’d join white garment church”. That statement alone led me to another episode of disaster!
Then a Cele guy, Samuel, came in picture…
Before I proceed on that, I just want to say something. Even though I had my own flaws too, I was stupid, (no one needs to tell me that) but, at times, I feel, if we’re led by the spirit to tell people something, (I stand to be corrected), we should try and make it clear, precise and not just beating around the bush. Those times when I was asked to break up with Timmy, nobody gave me a tangible reason why I shouldn’t, he just said, ‘so that you can have time for God’ , and I said OK…
So when Samuel came In, we started as friends, I noticed he was more spiritual than Timmy, as per Cele guy na, what do you expect? And because the prophet said I would change church, I lustfully stumbled into a relationship with him thinking it was the will of God…
When I got into the relationship, It wasn’t what I actually thought it would be! So all the spirikoko was a cover up? We had our time for prayers and we also had times for rubbish (almost every time tho), the only time you won’t see us making out is when I’m on my mentrual period; they regard it as unclean, so they don’t touch unclean things (?)
To cut the long story short, I broke up with him. I decided to take my stand and stop being immoral.
I tried it, but it didn’t work, I fell again. Another relationship? Sigh.
Until one wonderful day, my spirit, soul, and body had conference meeting; they invited my brain too, and they had a serious talk!!!
I saw the need for me to talk to someone, I did that, and now I’m free(?)
Another episode of my life just started today, thanks to TMO for letting me know more, believe in myself, and encouraging me to share this with the world (I’m not revealing my identity), since it’s now in the past.
God bless you plenty plenty
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