Many times, we err, not because we are foolish, but because we are ignorant of some things. A young lady in her early 20s, shares her rape experience at 16.
“…within a twinkle of an eye, he had changed from the once lively person I had been chatting with all along. He ordered me to pull off my clothes, and if I didn’t, his boys downstairs would do the job for him. He slapped me, and I didn’t know how I began to pull off my clothes.”~Anonymous
I suffered so much Trauma and I can say I’m just healing. I don’t think I can face the world yet to say that I was raped.
It happened exactly this period, five years ago; that should be on the 8th of July, 2011. I wanted to just die and ask God why he permitted that to happen to me.
This is how it all began.
One fateful day, I was in a class when my phone beeped. I had just received a text from my boyfriend, Adeola. He had called off our relationship via the message. I felt I wouldn’t feel so much hurt, but that was a lie, because I eventually got destabilized emotionally. The events that followed afterwards appeared interesting, as I kept seeking for friends and companions. I was beautiful, young, classy, and chic, so it wasn’t difficult to get a company.
Along the line, I met a new friend on Facebook with the name—Segun. We started gisting and all, and he told me that he wasn’t in Nigeria but would be back soon. I was so eager to meet this new friend of mine, that I patiently awaited his return. On his return, we decided to meet. We had just resumed school, after a very long vacation, so just few of my friends were around as at that time. I couldn’t really get close pals to gist with, and tell about my ‘new found friend’ so I kinda made a sole decision without consulting anyone.
The plan was to meet at a location around Ojota, Lagos. As naive as I was, I felt it was just an eatery, nothing bad. I was almost at Ojota when he called that I should move ahead to Ketu, Lagos. I felt uneasy but since I had gone that far, I decided to move on, rather than pulling back; I braced up and continued the journey. I alighted at Ketu, only for him to tell me that he had to leave, due to an urgent call from his dad. Still in my naivety, I never suspected any foul play; I concluded that it must have been an urgent call indeed so I proceeded to Agric, Ikorodu, Lagos.
On getting there, I was wowed! It was an hotel! The guy was so tall and huge; I was so surprised because I wasn’t expecting to see someone that old, I thought he was a young chap. After exchanging pleasantries, we chatted all the way to his room and in no time, I forgot all my fears. I was enjoying the gist and all. While in the room, and still in the euphoria of the gist, he mentioned that he was a cultist while he was in the university. I was shocked; being a church girl, I quickly asked him if he had desisted from that kind of life, but he waved the question off stylishly and moved on to the next thing.
‘You will satisfy me and I will satisfy you’ was the next thing I heard. I was still wondering what he meant by that statement when, in a twinkle of an eye, he had changed from the once lively person I had been chatting with all along. He ordered me to pull off my clothes, and if I didn’t, his boys downstairs would do the job for him. He slapped me, and I didn’t know how I began to pull off my clothes.
It’s appearing so real right now; the pictures are still clear to me and I presently feel like breaking down once again.
To cut the long story short, I WAS RAPED, amidst slaps and all. It was a brutal experience. When he was done, he told me to go and clean up but I couldn’t, I just wore my clothes, and funny enough I saw no blood, as it should have been, for someone who had just lost her virginity. In fact, the rapist taunted me with the ‘no blood’ issue and said ‘I thought you were calling yourself a virgin, where is the blood?’. I pleaded with him, so much, that he should have mercy cos I was only a young girl of 16 and was just being naive. That didn’t stop him from having his way, anyway.
Another painful side of the story was that he gave me 1000Naira to pass as my transport fare. I didn’t want to collect it but I feared that he would kill me or do something close, so I collected it and sobbed uncontrollably back home, even in the public bus. I sent a message to my friends and they alerted one person in school to check on me. I was totally devastated.
Thank God for my friend, who took me to a very good pharmacist. He gave me Postinor, which I used, to prevent pregnancy. He advised me to go for HIV test but I couldn’t because I felt the result could come out positive, and I wasn’t ready to bear double hurts. So, I didn’t do the test, and I haven’t done it still.
I remember vividly that my tears lost control, anytime and anywhere. I detested hearing virginity talks. What was the point when I had lost mine?
Sometime back, someone brought a questionnaire to my class about virginity and sex issues. I was initially playing and gisting with other friends before then, but as soon as I saw the paper, my face dropped, and like my friends knew what would happen next, they carried my bag and told me to stand up. I was full of tears already.
I cried for months, hoping that things would turn around and I would bring the virginity back.
Then, I met a guy, who out of our many gists, managed to know about that brutal experience. He eventually asked me out, cos I was already having several boyfriends. He was like a shield for me, as I had to put away other guys because I loved him so much. We didn’t stay too long together cos he wanted to have sex with me so that I would forget about that painful experience; I objected to sex, but we did every-other-thing-romance.
Somehow, I found God, and even few years after that experience, I still feel hurt, especially when I hear someone blurt out that there is no virgin in the world. I’d wish I could serve as an example and say boldly that there are still virgins in the world. My testimony was soiled, but God has never left me.
Even after finding God, I still found myself in a messy relationship, but he has never turned his back against me, even when I messed up.
That’s my story, and I really hope there are lessons to learn from it, and it would be of help to the world.
TMO: Did you tell your mother about it?
A: No I couldn’t tell her. We weren’t that close, and the fear was/is still there. How would I tell her? Besides, I was in school then so my friends were always around me, else, I would have just killed myself.
TMO: So, she doesn’t know, even till now?
A: For real, she doesn’t…
It was a tragic experience; it still hurts at times but God has been good. The healing process began last year, that was after about 3years of dying all over again with the pain.
I long for a time when I would be able to come out, and reveal my identity with this story.
Thanks for this opportunity.
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