Continued from the last chapter
It was a Tuesday, and I was really enjoying the view from my apartment that morning. I was thrilled because I was going to see a client of mine whose marriage was restored due to my counseling. I was so happy because I doubted my ability to help them when they walked into my office for help. The process was going from bad to worse as I presumed, but I was able to pull through, luckily. The morning was brighter than the clouds. I loved the smell of the winds, the early morning breeze and the coolness of the sun. Everything is indeed beautiful, all thanks to God in heaven.
Yeah…God, I feel totally left out. I haven’t felt connected in a while now. My work has kept me so busy that Sundays are the only days I take breaks. I want to go to church but procrastination is taking a toll on me. Well, one day, I would take my christian life seriously. I really hope so. I walked down to the kitchen to serve myself some cold orange juice that really has an effect on me somehow. It sometimes ease my pretentious smile and calm my nerves. If mama was here, her hot pepper soup would ease my tension right away. Clem Ham is all I think about in this cold morning. It has been exactly three weeks since we last saw and he didn’t find it in him to call me. I guess it was just a normal fling for him. He is handsome and I’m pretty sure girls are drooling over him. I have my career to face now, a family to cater for and my client to make happy. As for my relationship status with God, I will totally reconnect when I am 70 years old.
I love my job to some extent, it makes me happy and it puts food on my table. I have a house, a good car and some money in my account that can pay my bills to some extent, but that is not good enough. I want a job that gets me wishing there was never a night. I want a job that brings out innovative ideas every day and night to my existence. My job feels good but I get bored atimes, listening to all the problems of people when no one has that same time to listen to quarter of what I have to say. Africa is beautiful, trust me, and most especially, Nigeria is so blessed. But government is not helping matters or are we the ones making them see us as irrelevant? I feel people don’t work for passion anymore. I feel those years spent in the university was just a waste of time, because 92% of graduates drop their certificates to follow their truly desired dreams. So my questions; why do people still go into the University, spend countless number of hours studying and working so hard for a course that they are not totally interested in? Are they just trying to get by or trying to have something to brag about? That seem so unrealistic. I would have loved to throw the blame at the parent for not supporting the dreams of their children despite how many times they failed trying to be what the society want them to be, but they aren’t at fault. If they allow them follow their passion, there is no sustainability from the government, which makes it impossible for children to become the actor or the dancer or the artist they ought to be. Corruption has eaten up even the ideas that we need to move the country forward. I strongly feel, if we have a good government who put our needs before theirs, it would create more rooms for industrialization in the country. We have great minds, we have great thinkers, we have great ideas, instead people run off to other countries to explore those ideas because the environment has proven to be non accommodating. I hope one day change would occur, this change does not mean it would come from the leaders sitting on the high seat, this change should come from us the roots. We change the man sitting on the seat with glasses. We need to stop running and come back home to invest, come back home, so this country can some day be the nation every seed on earth want to come to. I hope I am part of this change. I hope I am not just passing through life, but living wholeheartedly.
Wow! The morning is running faster, I had better get ready before the sun catch up with me. I climbed up, into the bath tub as I allowed the water fall slowly on my hair. My face was already covered with soap when I heard my phone ring. I knew it couldn’t be my assistant as I have told her countless times to always send me a message no matter how urgent the information was. Then who could it be? Could it have been Clem? The thought of that made my heart race fast. I jumped out of the tub with no second thoughts. I hurriedly grabbed my phone as I anticipated what his apologies would be for not calling me. I decided to allow the phone ring the second time, so it would not show how desperate I was waiting for him to call me. I picked up the phone, and answered it with a soft tone, only to learn that it was Sarah my assistance calling me with another number. I was so mad, but the news couldn’t wait. She apologized and explained that she had left about five messages already and there was no reply. She said that the wife of the client I was going to see died in a car crash on her way to my office. I was so cold and chills ran through my body. I asked if her husband was aware, she confirmed yes. I told her I would be with her shortly. Immediately I hung up the phone, warm tears started to gush down from my eyes. I quickly rinsed my body in the shower and dressed up. I wonder what must be going through mind of her husband. It was really a heart breaking news. No amount of counseling can bring him out of that pit He is feeling right now. It is so sad. One minute, one is alive, another minute, the person is no more. This is so heart breaking.
Few minutes later, I arrived at the office and found her husband. He just came closer to me. I was afraid he would throw punches on my face because his wife died because of me. But all I heard was that “would she go to heaven?” I wanted to say yes, but I just kept still as if a gun was pointed on my head. I told him to go home and rest that his family needed him. I told him to pray for her soul to find rest. I wanted to pray for him, but I had forgotten how to pray myself. I wish I could be his rock right now but I am not strong enough. Even though I had lost my faith a long time ago, I told him that only God could restore his broken heart. I called for a cab to drop him home, because I was petrified of another car crash. After he left my office, my phone rang. I had no zeal to pick it up, as I was afraid for another car crash. It kept on ringing till Sarah walked into my office to see if I was okay. She said “ma’am your phone is ringing”. I just smiled and told her I knew. She must have seen the fear in my eyes, as she asked if she could pick and ask the person to drop a message. I just nodded, because I was in no mood for another bad news. She picked and told the caller that she was my assistant. All I heard was okay, I will tell her you called. I had no zeal to find out who that was. She just said that Mr Clem called. My heart skipped. I was shocked. I couldn’t breathe. I asked her what he said, she said he just wanted to speak to me that he would call later on. The thought of that, gave me a reason to smile a little.