I called my mum from school today and told her I cut my hair. She said ‘Ah, Daddy e ma soro’. She told me it was alright with her and asked if I was planning on growing it un-permed. I just made some sounds that had no meaning. She was not patient to find out. She made a few statements and ended the call. Little did she know that I cut my hair myself with a scissors while crying. Little did she know I did it because I had no right to be beautiful, no, not me. She had no idea that I just climbed the elevator of self-harm and this one only goes up.
Trust me, you are not alone on this. I cannot tell you that I know exactly how feel because I don’t. I will not tell you to close your eyes and then open it and all will be well because it just might not, not yet. I will only tell you be strong, let your heart keep pumping, stop cutting, stop feeding yourself to the wolves and please press the button. Let’s get down from this elevator ride.