Trim Your Circle Intelligently

Life began for Juliana at 18.

She had just graduated from secondary school with good grades. Wrote the yearly Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB). Had a pretty good score but was not admitted into the university of her choice due to some challenges. She got News from a cousin about a prescience program in a federal university. She was encouraged by her mum to pick the form, although it was quite late, she got admitted to run the 9 months program, at the end of which would determine whether or not to get kicked out of the school or continue with the course of her choice as a second year student.

Juliana was a beautiful, brown skinned girl embedded with godly and right principles from childhood. She led a godly life all through her days in high school and stood as a great example for her younger sisters. She had dreams of becoming a lawyer.

Juliana resumed school in January. It was late resumption, as lectures began in November the previous year.

She walked into the chemistry lecturer’s office on her second week of  being in the university. She had gone to register her presence and request for a make up test, as tests had already been organized before her resumption.

On her way out of Mr. Adewale’s office, she bumped into Ejiro, a student in her department.

Ejiro had taken note of her the previous week in class, and took special interests in her. Juliana was not cut out for unnecessary friendship, but she lacked the power to say No.

Prior to meeting Ejiro, she would return to the school’s hostel everyday after classes. Ate, nap and studied for long hours. She would attend fellowships on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings.

But the routine changed since she met with Ejiro who later introduced Juliana to her numerous friends. For she was popular. Juliana too, soon headed to being popular.

Juliana would go home with Ejiro, who stayed off campus almost on daily basis. Chatted and kept up with a lot of friends. She missed fellowships. Partied on Friday nights. Paid huge attention and resources on her outward looks. Failed to hear from her family back home. Even when they called, she always had reasons to not pick their calls.

Life actually began for her. This life was sweet. 

On several occasions, during her quiet time, an inner voice would tell her of how it was never too late to turn back from her negative lifestyle. But still, she lacked the courage to say NO.

Reading wasn’t part of the plan any more. Nonetheless, the final examinations came and was soon over. It was thus time for everyone to return back home and await the results and admission list. Juliana went home like everyone else.

The results and admission lists were released.

Juliana had 5 points short of what was required for law students to cross over to sophomore year.

Ejiro of course had points short of what was required as well, but it was never a problem. Her parents soon arranged for her to join her brother in the UK where she got accepted into college.

Juliana, on the other hand, spent the next few months in regrets. Re-applied for JAMB and sat up.  She is currently awaiting the next admission list.

The above story might sound boring and fictional, but I bet, someone out there has a similar story.

We have at one point of our lives lacked the courage to say NO to negative vices, wrong association and PEERS (People who Encourage Errors, Rudeness and Stupidity), and unfortunately had consequences we paid.

Some of us might are still in relationships and even situations where we still ‘TRY’ to say ‘NO’.

Sometimes, we fear we might sound rude, at other times, we fear being seen as boring. But there’s no boredom associated with connecting with only things and people who help us become better. We all have circles where we should belong. We don’t belong everywhere. Create that circle that will be in line with your dreams and aspirations.

Thing is, it doesn’t have to be said with rudeness, neither do we have to become enemies with them.

SOMETIMES, all it might take is to avoid these people gradually. But, ALWAYS, all it takes is to ask the holy spirit to teach us how go deal with them. For he knows all things.

Few days ago, I saw a clip where the speaker talked about Life Audit.

What is Life Audit? This is the act of simply tabulating the names of every single persons we spend time with; writing down as many names as you can remember and putting either a plus or a minus sign in front of each name. Thereafter, make conscious effort to spend more time with those who has a plus in front of their names, gradually, those whose names carry a minus sign begin to keep some distance.

  • Does this person drain energy from me in anyway? Put a minus.
  • Does he/she challenge how I think and propels me into development? Put a plus sign.
  • Do I feel less and bad about me each time I’m around this person? Put a minus.

By doing this yearly, we’ll gradually create positive people around us.

Let others go and spend more time with a few.

You do not need many people in your life. All you need is few but similar minded individuals like you.

Keep your circle as small as possible. Not about quantity but quality.


I hope you got something from this? You can leave a comment below and don’t forget to subscribe to this blog to not miss a post.

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2 thoughts on “Trim Your Circle Intelligently

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