Do you Even Understand?

I never sleep for fear of what tomorrow might bring.
How can I be so lost in a place I know so well?
How can I be so broken in a family so together?
How can I be so confused surrounded by so many?

All these are thoughts that keep flooding my mind.

Sometimes discouragement comes within, but I just cannot give up

When you try to pretend to force a smile but it never turns out the right way.
In some ways your plan does work, because they never seem to notice the tears in your eyes, or the scars that you pretend are not there.

Always forced to fight what you never seem to win, God only knows what you’ve fought for so long. When will this ever end?

You hate your image and you never do anything right, you are scared because you don’t know what you are capable of. Every single time you attempt to be happy, someone brings you down. They don’t know that every time they joke about killing themselves, you actually want to be dead. Everything is moving with no place to go and you keep telling yourself that everything is going to be okay! What you hide is buried deep within you.

You tried blending in with the crowds so nobody would see you. You do a pretty good job, clearly nobody notices you not in a glance.

So many tears you have shed in the dark and hidden away in the privacy of your own thoughts. Only to be shelved with mornings first light, due to lack of courage to speak of the pain and it hurts to know that you’ll never be the same. Knowing well that you’ll never be the same guy or girl you used to be, if you only know what you’ve been through or maybe someone else could take a walk in your shoes.

Because this is sometimes how we feel whenever we lay awake in the middle of the night as the tears fall down and start to soak the pillow, the blood runs thicker as it drips down your arm.

Then, you realize you need help.

Do you even understand the fact that the best project you can ever work on is yourself? It is left to you, either to use your brain for what’s left or you use what’s left in your brain to make a wise decision today as you stop dwelling in your past. Your mindset is the beginning of your wisdom

Remember; Life is a matter of choice, and every choice you make makes you.


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