Am I Emotionally Fit for a Relationship? How to Know.

According to “Oxford learner’s dictionary”, Relationship is defined as a way two or more  people behave and are involved with each other. A romantic or sexual involvement with each other.

Relationships can be exciting, confusing and become the focus of your daily lives. Counting the days (minutes) until you see that person again, wondering what to wear, determining what makes him or her happy and so on.

Questions  like, will it last? Is it love or lust? Different thoughts start dropping in your mind. No doubt, relationship can be stressful and demanding.

I want you to know that we are emotional beings. So, our emotions cannot be overemphasized. Starting a relationship, requires you to be emotionally matured. Then, if you’re not, relationship is obviously not for you.

{Read: Signs You Are Not Ready for a Relationship}

No matter our age, romantic relationships are both trilling and at times uncertain. And remember, it takes two to tango. So, when someone who has not dealt with his or her emotions gets into a relationship, you can imagine the outcome.

There is no point awakening love when you know you’re not ready. There is time for everything. Let’s be realistic, we are all humans and we have our good and bad days. Relationships takes effort and commitment. Are you ready to be committed?

How to know if you’re emotionally fit for a relationship.

1. Can you take other people’s excesses?

Are you easily offended? do you feel irritated easily by peoples actions? If the answers to those questions are yes, then you are not ready to be in a relationship. Because, in a relationship, you both will definitely offend each other. Remember you’re coming from two different homes. You have different backgrounds, beliefs and upbringing. How you handle differences with other people will tell if you’re emotionally fit.

2. Consider your motives

As a teenager, you may not have ever wanted a real relationship then all of a sudden everyone is dating and you think you should too. If this sounds like you, then you need to take a step back. You need to know that relationship is not a competition. You don’t need to start a relationship because everyone is doing it. If this is your motive, then know that you’re not emotionally fit for a relationship.

3. Timing

As a teenager and a young adult struggling with academics and career, getting into a relationship shouldn’t be your priority. You need to set your priorities straight. Are you done pursuing your career? have you identified your purpose? If the answers to those questions are No, then, know that,relationship is not for you. “It’s not the right time for me now” is a typical way of indicating your unreadiness without saying so explicitly.

4. Have you dealt with your self esteem?

How is your self esteem? If you know you still need to work on it then do. Know that you’re not emotionally fit if your self esteem is still an issue.

partners with low self esteem are more likely to have issues in there relationships because it will lead to some deep issues in communication and perception.

5. Are you emphatic enough?

If someone shares something with you, do you give dry response like ” you’re not interested” kind of response. If you don’t express a comment that would elicit some types of empathic or supportive response  to people’s issues, then you still need to work on your emotions because you’re not empathic enough. And trust me, in a relationship your partner needs it.

6. How do you take criticism and rejection?

If you don’t have good coping capacities and you’re prone to ruminations and mood swings, you tend to be fearful of negative emotional experiences, like being criticised or rejected, even though to some extent. These are part of life. If you don’t take criticism with good heart,moving on with your life but burying your head in self pity, then you’re not fit for a relationship yet.

7. You don’t have a good communication skill

Communication isn’t easy really. Often, relationships are filled with so much emotions and so many feelings that it can be difficult for everyone to get their point  across and feel heard and understood.

If you know you still have issues communicating your self effectively, then it’s better you focus on developing,learning and growing in a way that makes you a good communicator.

8. If you can’t fully commit

If you’re the kind of person who runs away at the mention of being called someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend that’s a red flag that you’re not ready.

Commitment is a great key to a successful relationship”. If you’re not ready to dedicate your time, money and some other things to someone else, then you’re not emotionally fit for a relationship.


It’s easy to feel you’re the only one without a relationship, but that’s definitely not true. If you’re feeling intimidated because every other person is getting into a relationship. My dear, you need to calm down because you’re not alone.

Getting into a relationship is not a competition. Slow down and wait till you’re emotionally fit, so that you won’t end up broken.

Are you emotionally fit to handle a relationship? Are there more tips you will like to share with me? Feel free in the comments.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s