Confidence in Your Own Skin

“Too many of us think ‘If I just looked better, were skinnier, were more successful, then I’d feel comfortable in my own skin,’ but it’s not about that at all. None of those things will help until you learn self-worth,”

Christina G. Hibbert, Psy.D

It’s shocking how many of us hide within the shadows every day because we are uncomfortable with who we are. It’s even more shocking how we subconsciously choose to hide so we don’t even realise that fact that we might have an inferiority complex. We assume that we’re merely “introverted” instead of dealing with the issues that might have triggered the complexes we exhibit.

In 2018, I weighed about 150 pounds and had a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI). I was consciously moderate with my food intake because I didn’t want to gain any more weight, but I was quite comfortable with my shape at that time. Suddenly, I started an aggressive workout routine. I was tough on myself, trying to “sweat out” all the fat as fast as possible. I stopped eating regularly or doing things I loved because I thought I was too fat.

It took an honest discussion to confront the issue that drove me to that point: a comment someone made about my “fat belly” that affected me deeply than I imagined. Over the years, I have seen in myself and others how important it is to stand tall and possess self-confidence in all facets of your persona: physically, emotionally, mentally.

Here are three pointers that have aided me in building confidence:

1. “Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm S. Forbes

Often, our nature is manifested in a fixation with all the things we are not, ignoring the amazing people we really are. Insecurity flourishes in a mind that refuses to see its own greatness, so it is super important that while you view your inadequacies in a bid to challenge yourself to be better, you see how your beautiful qualities complete you and make you the person that you are.

2. “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.” – August Wilson

Don’t waste time whining over your weaknesses, work on them! Recognising and accepting the things that you need to work on, as well as your strengths, is imperative in achieving self-confidence. Be it a bad habit, a personality defect, or an eating disorder, launch out to confront it!

3. “What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.” – Confucius

Validate 👏🏽 Your👏🏽 Self! 👏🏽

It is impossible to be comfortable in your own skin if your perception of yourself is entirely dependent on the views of others.

Look within yourself for validation and recognise that nobody’s opinions about you are as important as yours. Because you know that you are brave, strong and powerful! And while negative opinions might be pointers to areas you need to work on, they do not define you. You and God alone can do that!


In what other ways do you develop confidence in your skin? When will you stand tall to embrace the confidence that lies within you?


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