You cannot choose everything that happens to you, and you cannot force yourself to feel happy all the time. But you can sometimes choose what you give your attention to, what you make time for, and whether you allow small, good moments count.
Lately, I have been paying more attention to myself, and I have noticed that I have some power over what I choose to feed my mind and emotions. There will be good days and bad days. There will be moments when everything seems to be going your way and others when you would rather stay in bed and not deal with anything.
But what we do with those moments matters.
There is a certain stress that comes with carrying a sour mood around all day. Sometimes, nothing around you has changed, but somehow everything feels heavier because of the mood you are in.
When I have a choice, I would rather choose joy.
{Read: How to succeed on the move}
I would rather enjoy the beautiful breeze that blows on a Sunday evening. I would rather laugh with my friend with my head tilted back into the sun. I would rather listen to my favourite songs and let myself enjoy them, even when I know there might be difficult situations waiting for me later.
Maybe that is what choosing joy looks like.
What Does It Actually Mean to Choose Joy?
When we talk about choosing joy, it can sound almost too simple.
Just be happy. Think positive. Look on the bright side.
But real life does not always work that way.
Joy is not the same thing as being happy every second. You can have a difficult day and still laugh at something ridiculous your friend says. You can be worried about an upcoming exam and still enjoy your favourite meal afterward. You can be disappointed about something and still notice that the evening sky looks beautiful.
Two things can exist at the same time.
You can be going through something difficult and still experience something good.
That, to me, makes joy feel much more realistic.
You Cannot Choose Everything
There are things we simply do not get to decide.
You cannot always control what happens at school. You cannot control every disagreement with your friends. You cannot control disappointing news, unexpected changes, or the decisions other people make.
And sometimes, something genuinely hurts.
Choosing joy does not mean looking at those situations and saying, “Well, I guess I should just be happy.”
Sometimes you need to admit that something is difficult. Sometimes you need to be upset. Sometimes you need to talk to someone, take a break, or simply give yourself time to process what happened.
Joy should not become another thing you feel pressured to perform. You do not have to smile through everything.
But You Can Choose Where You Look
There is a difference between controlling everything that happens to you and choosing what you pay attention to.
Imagine having a terrible morning. You miss your alarm, rush through breakfast, get to school late and then remember you have a test you forgot about.
It would be very easy for the entire day to become the terrible day.
But then your friend says something funny.
Someone saves you a seat.
You hear a song you love on your way home.
The weather is unexpectedly beautiful.
None of those things erase the bad morning.
But they are still good moments.
And sometimes, we miss those moments because we are so focused on the thing that went wrong.
I think choosing joy can sometimes mean allowing the good parts of a day to count too.
Joy Can Be Very Ordinary
We sometimes imagine joy as something huge.
Getting into your dream school.
Winning something.
Going on an amazing holiday.
Receiving really good news.
Those things can absolutely make us happy. But if we make joy dependent on big events, we might spend a lot of our lives waiting for the next big thing.
There is also joy in ordinary things.
A conversation that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts.
Your favourite song coming on at exactly the right moment.
Eating something you really like.
Sitting outside when the weather feels perfect.
Finding something funny in the middle of a stressful day.
Finishing something you have been putting off.
Getting home after a long day and finally taking your shoes off.
These moments may seem small.
They are still moments of your life.
Why should they not count?
The Problem With Forcing Happiness
There is a difference between choosing joy and forcing yourself to be happy.
Forcing happiness sounds like telling yourself that you are not allowed to feel sad because someone else has it worse.
It sounds like saying, “I should be grateful, so I shouldn’t feel this way.”
But emotions do not work like that.
You can be grateful and still be upset.
You can love your life and still have a bad day.
You can appreciate what you have and still want something to change.
Choosing joy should not mean ignoring what you feel. If anything, it can mean making space for the good without pretending the difficult parts aren’t there.
So, Can You Choose Joy?
Maybe not completely.
You cannot decide that every day will be wonderful. You cannot control every emotion that comes up or prevent difficult things from happening.
But perhaps you can choose what you give more room to.
You can choose to call your friend.
You can choose to step outside for a little while.
You can choose to listen to the song that always lifts your mood.
You can choose to laugh when something is genuinely funny instead of worrying about whether you have more important things to do.
You can choose to notice the breeze.
You can choose to let a good moment be a good moment.
And maybe that is enough.
Joy does not always arrive when everything is finally perfect. Sometimes it appears in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday, between a difficult conversation and an unfinished assignment, or during a Sunday evening when the breeze feels just right.
We do not have to wait until we have figured everything out before we are allowed to enjoy our lives.
There will be difficult days.
There will also be beautiful ones.
And when the choice is available to me, I think I would rather notice the beautiful ones.
I really do hope you enjoyed reading through this and will choose Joy today 🙂
