I sometimes wish I could sit across the younger version of me and have a conversation with her.
Not because I would tell her everything that is going to happen, but because I think she would be surprised.
Surprised by the things she would eventually learn. The things she would fail at. The things she would get better at. And perhaps most importantly, the person she would slowly become.
If you had asked me years ago what growth looked like, I probably would have imagined something obvious. Something you could point at and say, “See? That’s growth.”
But now, when I look back, I realise it rarely happens that way.
Growth is often quiet.
Sometimes it looks like struggling with something for months and then suddenly realising you can do it.
Sometimes it looks like making a mistake, learning from it, and trying again.
Sometimes it looks like becoming a completely different person.
And sometimes, it looks like finding your way back to the person you used to be.
When I look at my own story, I see so many versions of myself.
Some of them make me laugh. Some make me cringe. Some make me proud.
But all of them taught me something…
The Chapters I Didn’t Know Were Shaping Me
When I look back at my life so far, I don’t see one perfectly written story. I see chapters.
Some are funny. Some are uncomfortable. Some are chapters I probably wouldn’t mind skipping if I could. And some are still being written.
But every chapter has taught me something.
There was the chapter where I thought my first piece of writing was brilliant.
The chapter where I had to learn that healing was my responsibility.
The chapter where I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life.
The chapter where I failed a course and had to try again.
The chapter where I lost my voice; quite literally – and had to find it again.
At the time, I didn’t know they were chapters.
I was simply living them.
But looking back now, I realise something:
Growth was happening in all of them.
The Writer Who Thought Her First Work Was Great
Let’s start with the writing.
My first writing was… interesting.
At the time, I thought it was great. I was probably quite proud of myself too.
Looking back now? Let’s just say I’m grateful nobody can read my mind from back then.
It was cringy.
But thankfully, I had a great mentor who saw something I didn’t yet see. Instead of simply telling me that I was good, she taught me the art of writing.
I learned. I made mistakes. I improved.
And slowly, my writing began to evolve.
Today, I sometimes look at my old work and find it difficult to believe how much my writing has changed.
And that taught me something about growth:
Sometimes, you don’t realise how far you’ve come until you look back at where you started.
The version of me who wrote that first piece couldn’t have imagined the writer I would eventually become.
She just had to keep writing.
The Angry Child Who Had to Learn to Heal
I was an angry child.
My background didn’t help either.
For a long time, anger was simply something I carried. But growing older meant having to confront parts of myself I didn’t particularly like.
Eventually, I had to learn something important:
Healing is my responsibility.
That doesn’t mean everything that happened to me was my fault.
It means I had to decide what I would do with what happened to me.
I had to learn to understand myself.
To unlearn certain reactions.
To choose differently.
To realise that my past could explain parts of me without being allowed to define my future.
And honestly, I’m still learning.
Because growth isn’t always about becoming more skilled or achieving something impressive.
Sometimes growth is internal.
Sometimes it is becoming more self-aware.
Sometimes it is choosing a different response.
Sometimes it is deciding that you don’t want to remain the person your circumstances taught you to be.
The Girl Who Had No Idea What She Wanted
For most of secondary school, I had no idea what career I wanted.
While some people seemed to know exactly what they wanted to become, I was still trying to figure myself out.
And then, to make matters worse, I was forced into a department I never liked.
It was frustrating.
I couldn’t understand how I was supposed to build a future around something I didn’t even enjoy.
But eventually, things began to make sense.
I found clarity in my third year of university.
Looking back, I realise that I didn’t need to have all the answers at 15 or 16.
I just needed to keep moving.
Sometimes clarity doesn’t come before the journey. Sometimes you find it along the way.
If you’re a teenager who has no idea what you want to do with your life, you’re not necessarily behind.
You might simply be in an earlier chapter.
The Chapter Where Microsoft Office Finally Made Sense
This one still makes me laugh.
I didn’t understand Microsoft Office until I got into university.
Today, it is part of the work I do. It’s funny how that happens.
There are things that once seem completely unfamiliar, maybe even intimidating, until you spend enough time learning them.
You don’t wake up one morning magically knowing how to do them.
You start somewhere. You struggle. You ask questions. You make mistakes. You practise.
And eventually, something that once felt difficult becomes ordinary.
I didn’t know then that something I found so unfamiliar would eventually become part of my everyday life.
And I think that’s another thing growth has taught me ; sometimes, the things we struggle to understand today quietly become the things we become good at tomorrow.
Sometimes growth is simply realising that something which once intimidated you has quietly become part of who you are.
The Chapter of Mistakes and a Billion Lessons
I have made hundreds of mistakes.
But I have learnt a billion times more.
I don’t think growth means becoming someone who never makes mistakes.
If that were the case, I would still have a very long way to go.
Growth is more like:
Mistake → reflection → adjustment → trying again.
And sometimes, unfortunately:
Mistake → reflection → adjustment → another mistake.
But that’s okay.
Every mistake doesn’t have to become a permanent label.
You can get something wrong without being a failure.
You can make a poor decision without being a bad person.
You can learn and do better.
Finding My Voice Again
I used to be an amazing speaker growing up.
Then somewhere along the way, I lost that skill.
I went into my shell and started struggling.
Something that once came naturally became something I had to consciously work on again.
But I’m better now.
And that experience taught me something I don’t think I’ll ever forget:
Sometimes growth isn’t becoming someone new. Sometimes it’s finding your way back to something you thought you had lost.
Maybe you’ve experienced that too.
Maybe you used to be confident but became quieter.
Maybe you used to love something but stopped.
Maybe you were once very expressive but started holding yourself back.
Losing something doesn’t always mean it’s gone forever.
Sometimes, you just need time to find your way back.
The Course I Failed
Then there was the course I failed.
I had to sit for it again.
And eventually, I went on to gain a professional certification.
Looking back, I’m actually grateful that the story didn’t end with the failure.
Because failure can make you feel like you’ve reached the end of the road when sometimes, you’ve simply reached a difficult part of the journey.
Failure can become part of your story without becoming the definition of your story.
That course didn’t disappear from my history.
I simply added another chapter after it. And another. And another.
The Part Where I Look Back
When I put all these chapters together, they don’t look like a perfect story.
They look messy.
There are plot twists I didn’t ask for.
Mistakes I wish I could edit out.
Chapters I didn’t understand while I was living them.
But maybe that’s the thing about growth.
You don’t always understand the chapter while you’re in it.
Sometimes you only understand what it was teaching you when you turn the page.
The angry child couldn’t have understood what healing would eventually mean.
The student who had no idea what career she wanted couldn’t have seen the clarity that would come later.
The writer who thought her first article was brilliant couldn’t have imagined how much she would improve.
The person who lost her confidence couldn’t have known she would find her voice again.
And the girl who failed that course couldn’t have known what would eventually come from trying again.
You don’t always know what a chapter is preparing you for.
Your Story Is Still Being Written
Maybe you’re in a chapter right now that you don’t particularly like.
Maybe it’s the chapter where you’re struggling with school.
Maybe it’s the chapter where you don’t know what you want.
Maybe it’s the chapter where you’re learning from a mistake.
Maybe it’s the chapter where you’re trying to find your confidence again.
Maybe you’re comparing your chapter to someone else’s and wondering why your story isn’t moving as quickly.
Please don’t assume that because you don’t like the chapter, your story will not unfold.
You’re still writing. You are still growing.
And just because you can’t see the progress yet doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
The Most Beautiful Chapters Are Still Ahead
I don’t know what the next chapter of my story will look like.
And for once, I’m okay with that.
I know there will probably be mistakes.
More things I’ll have to learn.
Things I’ll have to unlearn.
Maybe even a few plot twists I didn’t see coming.
But if there’s one thing these past chapters have taught me, it’s that I don’t have to know the entire story to keep turning the page.
I’m still growing.
And so are you.
So wherever you are right now, don’t rush to skip the chapter.
There may be something in it that you’ll only understand when you look back.
Because sometimes, the chapters we wish we could rewrite become the very stories that show us how far we’ve come.
I hope this helped you. Do let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to share this with someone
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