Friends You Need to Trim and Why

​It’s a new year and supposedly a new era. You can’t journey through life alone; you surely need people around.

We all need people in various aspects of life. For example, in academics, you need a reading partner and will definitely have course mates. Spiritually, you need people to pray and study the word with. You also have friends in the neighbourhood, cousins, nephews/nieces and the likes.

Having people around is inevitable and can’t be hidden from anyone, regardless of your temperament or attitude toward others.

I have discovered over time that people come into our lives for specific reasons and at different times.

There are times when you become friends with someone and you get along well for a particular period of time and all of a sudden you discover you barely relate with each other anymore.

What could have caused the break in connection?

It has happened to me a lot of times and sometimes I feel bad about it.

Many times, I ask myself “did I do anything wrong that created this distance between us?”, not until I understood that people come into our lives for specific reasons/purposes and for a particular period of time.

Now, I ask myself these questions:

  • Did I add any value to this person while we were friends?
  • What impact did the person make in my life?

These questions lead us to the attributes of friends you need to trim:

1. Friends that do not add value to your life

Be with friends that will motivate you to do things that will build you up, not friends that will make you comfortable with where you are.

2. Friends that are not serious about their own lives

A person who is not serious with his/her own life can’t take your life seriously. This kind of friends follow the trend of the world. They have no plans for their lives; they go wherever the world leads them.

They are the perfect example of purposeless individuals.

You really need to be with purposeful individuals.

Purposeful individuals have something to do per time, they are not idle.

3. Friends that do not tell you the truth about yourself

Though one can’t hide from this kind of friends, they are always bound to be around. It takes wisdom on your side to trim them and not make them the most important/closest friends you have.

Have friends that will correct you when you do something wrong. Although to retain friends like this, you must be teachable and be willing to yield to correction.

To move forward this new year and make impact, trim those friends that won’t help your life. Don’t feel bad about trimming friends, there are lots of people in the world you can be friends with. Don’t stick to a friend that’s not worth it, like that’s all there is to life.

Also, don’t trim friends in a rude manner. You can still be in contact with the person because he/she might be of help to you later in life, but you don’t have to be close to them as much as you are to those who add value to your life.

Friends in a way determine what becomes of your life. Choose wisely!


Action point: Make a list of your friends and group them according to how much impact they make in your life. Now, determine which should continue with you this year.

I hope this post helps? You can share with me in the comments how you’ve handled friendships in the past. I’ll like to hear from you. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to this blog to not miss a post. 

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