There is this attitude that people put up lately when they ‘lose’ someone in their lives. I don’t mean when someone dies; I mean when they are abandoned by friends or even family members. You start hearing them say things like: ‘if he left me, then they are not meant to be’. ‘To hell with him, I don’t even need him in the first place’. ‘I am the lord of my life, I get to choose who stays or not’!
Well, if you are in that shoe, there is a slim chance that you’re right. But, most of the time, you’re wrong. In his book titled GIVE AND TAKE, Adam Grant states that the people that live their lives as givers rather than takers are the ones that top the success ladder.
Who are the givers and who are the takers, you ask?
Well, the givers are those who see their lives as a live created for the benefit and betterment of others. They believe that by making a person better without considering their own benefit/gain first, this world can be a better place. While the takers, as you might have guessed, are those who put their selfish interest and/or personal gain ahead of helping others. They believe life is ‘give and take’. They believe no one love them as they love themselves so they put themselves first in everything.
I am sure you might be thinking how this belief system of Mr. Adam relates with losing friends and claiming to be the lord of one’s life . Well, it relates quite well.
You see, if you live your life as a giver rather than a taker, you would focus much more on improving yourself. You would focus on getting rid of that bad habit of yours for you to be able to add value to this world.Tweet
However, if you see life from the point of view of a taker – instead of looking inward to see where you got things wrong in the first place before your so called ‘best friend’ stopped chatting with you – since you belief it’s all about you and you’re always right – then thoughts in your mind will be something like: ‘I was right, I can never say sorry to what I don’t feel guilty for’. Or, ‘if he can’t take me like that then we’re not meant to be together’ and so on.
If you keep on living life like this (a taker and the lord of your life) then you will keep throwing away opportunities and your life might as well remain stagnant as your values and/or virtues remain unchanged because you are not ready to improve or change.Tweet
When people exit your life, while it’s a necessity to let some go, the wise thing to do however is to examine your life. Examine yourself and ask yourself sincerely: ‘WHY DID THEY LEAVE’? Am I not really a liar that they say I am? Am I not the cheater that they say I am? Am I not stubborn, really? And so on.
When people say you are something, check it. Although, they may only be seeing fragments or indeed do not know the full story but think about this: when a man says he his seeing figure 6 even though it is figure 9. One thing is TRUE – THERE IS A FIGURE DISPLAYED.Tweet
So, before you claim to be the ‘Lord of your life’ why not improve and be a better person…
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