…I stopped taking the things of God seriously and I was dying silently because I felt something important was missing and I wasn’t letting go, then I started thinking and deriving pleasures from worldly things and I knew I was losing it already. At times, I just stay in my room and cry my eyes out.
I’m a college student, and currently in my final year. I have been fighting with rejection and depression for some time now. I started attending a fellowship from my 100level days and I got all the attention. All of a sudden, I got into 200level and the attention reduced. Everyone started making excuses of being busy all the time and all that. I got to 300level and hatred for the church came in, and this includes everyone. I started backsliding and rebelling. I didn’t have the intention to do all these but then, it was more like I let the devil in.
I stopped taking the things of God seriously and I was dying silently because I felt something important was missing and I wasn’t letting go, then I started thinking and deriving pleasures from worldly things and I knew I was losing it already. At times, I just stay in my room and cry my eyes out.
We were to have a worker’s retreat, but my mind was zeroed not too attend, so I missed the first day. On the second day, I left even before the main program started. Went there on the last day, I had this conviction in my spirit not too miss the program, so I went, but I was late.
I wasn’t being open but I really wanted to let go of everything- the anger, envy, hatred, the guilt, I just wanted to surrender it all. Thank God the ministration of that day changed everything. I was completely opened. I was a fool all this while to let the enemy plant the seed of hatred and envy in my heart.
Until you stop pointing out all the faults in the church, you will continue to be an instrument in the hands of the devil. Jealousy is bad, so is envy. It gives room to a lot of things in a man’s life.
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Teens Meet Outreach 