Calm down baby, it isn’t that bad.
The world hasn’t come to an end, the feeling would go away, you’ll be normal again, you will love again. YOU WILL BE FINE! Does that make you feel better? Okay, maybe not really, even though they are all true. Because I understand how you feel and I understand that a few encouraging words wont always do the trick, I’ll be sharing with you a few tips on how to get over that painful break up:
1. Give yourself time
Truth is, the pain would go away but it wouldn’t go immediately. Allow yourself feel the pain. This is an important part of healing. Don’t bottle it all up and move on with life, pretending to be fine. You won’t heal that way. Allow yourself feel the pain. Cry if you need to, write about it, pray about it, eat ice cream (that works too, #winks) just let it all out somehow. Don’t just shove it down.
2. Understand that the pain you feel is temporary
This realization is one of your vehicles to quick recovery. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now but you need to understand that what you are feeling won’t last forever. A day would come when you’d realize you haven’t thought about your ex in weeks and even when you remember him/her, it wouldn’t even hurt. Yes, that time would come. You need to believe that if you are going to see it.
3. Take your pain to God
This is something else that works. You know that feeling when you are going through a difficult time and you meet someone who has gone through the same thing you are going through. Well, newsflash! No one has experienced heart break more than God. Imagine giving your own son to die for the one you love (you probably need to first imagine the magnitude of this kind of love). Imagine your son dying at the hands of the one you love, imagine giving everything only to be stabbed in the back, over and over and over.
God went through this. Hence, there’s no amount of heart break you’re experiencing that He hasn’t felt.
When you hand your broken heart to God, when you open yourself up to Him, you allow Him heal you gradually.
He helps you sort through all those confused feelings and helps you deal with them so that when you finally get over the heartbreak, there’ll be no trace of bitterness, low self esteem or any of the ugly residues that heartbreaks can leave a person with.
4. Enjoy other friendships
You might not feel ready immediately but you need to allow your friends in. Hopefully, there’s one or two among them that would be willing to offer you a shoulder, use it. It is advisable that these friends be of the same sex so as to avoid rebound relationships that will only lead to more heartbreaks.
The point here is, don’t deprive yourself of enjoying life just because of a heart break. Go out with your friends, enjoy a good laugh. Allow yourself be pampered, allow yourself be taken care of.
The pain wont go away at once but having friends around would make it easier.
5. Take a break from relationships
If you’re hurting from a relationship, the last thing you need is to jump into another. It just doesn’t work that way. If yo jump head-long into a relationship without healing from a previous one, be ready for a more painful heartbreak. I don’t mean to sound mean, it’s just the truth.
6. Steer clear of your ex, in every way
It is part of giving yourself time to heal. I know you both agreed to stay friends but no, that’s not just for immediately. “Staying friends” is for after you have healed so much that you don’t hurt whenever you see the ex. Don’t punish yourself unnecessarily please. Don’t keep stabbing your wound and expect to get better. Give yourself space and time to properly heal.
7. Get busy
Yup, that simple. Yes, I understand you might need to take a little time to mourn what was probably lost, including the hopes and dreams you had for the relationship but this shouldn’t go on unnecessarily too long. A time has to come when you pull yourself from that room corner and get busy. Clean up your room, engage in that hobby, read a book (not romance, please), go see movies, learn a new craft, visit some fun place, take up a new course, get a summer job. Just get busy.
The less free time you have, the less time you spend wallowing in hurt and self pity.
These are just a few tips that I know works. Do you have more to add? Please feel free to share in the comments below, so others can learn
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