On Drawing Boundaries

Do you want to be your own man?
Do you want to be a woman respected by all and even what she believes?
Do you want to be that person who is respected for who he or she is?

If your answer to most of these questions are yes, then you need to draw boundaries.

Drawing boundaries is simply defining you. It is knowing what you stand for and living by it. 

You’re your own man when you know what you’re capable of not doing and you stick to that. You become respected by all for what you’re when what you believe is crystal clear; what you would do and would not is understood by all you relate with. 

You can’t do without relationships. In fact, life is both rewarding and frustrating because of people. You can’t run away from that. To save yourself from the hurts or pain you will encounter, you will have to draw boundaries – indicate what you want and you don’t, what you will give and what you won’t.

There two important things you need to know when drawing boundaries in every relationship you will ever be a part of. These two things are the starting point for getting the best out of every relationship you find yourself in.

1. Define yourself

In every relationship you will have with people, you can only get the best from it if both parties understand who they are and why the relationship is important. Knowing who you are helps you to understand what you need and what you don’t. Thus, in every relationship, you will know what to take and what to give.

A proper definition of yourself will document your strengths and capabilities, and your weaknesses and flaws. It will also identify potentials that can be developed.  

How do you define you?

A definition is an answer to a question(s): what is…? Or who is …?

It is the same when you define yourself. You will ask yourself honest questions and give honest answers. 

You may ask other people, especially your parents and close friends, to answer some questions for you but remember, they will never know completely who you’re. It can help too.

Different people have come with different sets of questions you can ask that can be a pointer to the definition of who you are. The SWOT analysis is one of these. It is a proven method and set of questions you can ask yourself to get answers about who you are.

However, it is important that you know that you will not always get a perfect definition. Sometimes, your efforts may seem fruitless because there are no almighty formulas for perfect definitions. But the truth about defining yourself is you are and you become whatever you CHOOSE to be. Defining yourself is really a matter of the choices you make.

2. Respect yourself

Respecting yourself is not that an easy task to do if you don’t know yourself. It can be said that it comes with knowing what you are capable of and what you’re not. But I added it here on purpose.

Respecting yourself doesn’t give you the license to remain as you are. You were meant to grow in awareness of what you are to be what you can be. 

Respecting yourself is strict adherence to what your capabilities are. You don’t over do and neither do you under do. 

To respect yourself is your path onto improvement without negating what you are already. 

Maintaining healthy relationships require that well drawn boundaries are kept and you draw those boundaries by defining you and respecting yourself. 

Keeping these drawn boundaries is the subject of another post but first, draw those boundaries. 

Till next time, know who you’re and stand by it.


Do you have boundaries? Reflect on that for a minute.


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