Sometime in 2017, I attended this event organized by Chude Jideonwo where I first heard this illustration which I would paraphrase.
Can we just assume together? Let’s assume that your Grandma is 80 years old. You know she would die soon, right? I mean, she will not live forever, you get? Rather than wait till she passes on in her sleep suddenly, what if somewhere in your mind you allowed yourself accept the possibility that her death was eminent (sooner or later) and somewhere in your mind, you started to imagine a dining table without her? Hold on! Think about this a bit? What comes to mind? Think about this for a minute.
Now, let’s review what I have said and did not say:
- I have not said you should role play her death. Nope – that would be bad for you.
- I have not said you should fill your mind with thoughts of her death. That would be self-sabotage. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, remember, right?
- I have not said you should not live in the moment – you see, sometimes, we are consumed with thoughts about the possibility of sad occurrences and fail to live in the moment. We let tomorrow’s unknown troubles affect our present. We let fear of the unknown rob us of joys right before our faces. We should live fully in the moment!
All I’m simply suggesting is, be totally open to the possibility that things wouldn’t always go your way. Be open to the fact that there will always be two options in every situation – Good or Bad/Positive or Negative.
I need you to please read this part slowly – I’m not in any way talking about someone from your father’s side or mother’s side being responsible for your woes, bad outcomes or all that. Please, stop giving the devil more authority than he has. Clear?
Let’s move on.
That job application might just have had a far better candidate than yourself. If you were the CEO, I’m sure you wouldn’t give the role to someone with lower qualifications, would you? So, there would always be favorable and sometimes unfavourable outcomes in any given situation. This is just life, fam!
Having said that, what if life’s outcomes did not have too ‘harmful’ effects on you? Wouldn’t that be really cool?
In understanding that life simply happens, you in a way are prepared for the outcomes.
While unfavourable outcomes would still be painful, you’d be better off for it since you must have considered its possibility and were somewhat prepared over time.
Now, while you practice this, please be sure to live fully. I can’t overemphasize this.
Do not go all out looking for negatives or hoping for bad outcomes. Nope! Create the best possible outcomes in your mind, put in your best in ensuring it works out fine.Tweet
Get your CV updated, write the dope essays for that scholarship application, love that e-boo-bae like there’s no tomorrow. But understand that sometimes, life just happens and you would not want to be caught unawares.
Do you get?
Let’s summarize this:
- Live fully and live in the moment.
- Have fun.
- Expect only the best! Prepare for the worse too. It doesn’t hurt to have a backup plan, does it?
Lastly, because I am a believer, I know fully well that my life isn’t in the abundance of things I have, or I do not have. I know living for me is for Jesus. This is all that really matters. I thus would not put my faith in things here. Nope. I would esteem this far above all others. So, when bad times happen, I am reminded of the reason why I live. I am reminded that life is in itself is temporal. I also know that I am not alone in the fight – “there is another in the fire” as a song by Hillsong rightly says.
To the recent Master’s example I gave in part 1:
Remember I said I took a leave from work and travelled, right? I really just needed a break from everyone and some space to be fine and prepare.
During this period, I was sincere with myself about the possibility that I would:
- Get admitted into a school or not
- Get offered a scholarship by the department or not
- Get selected for another scholarship which was going to foot all the bills – knowing that I put in my best during the application process or not (knowing that life happens and there is the possibility that there might be better applicants!).
After the break, I was sort of prepared for both outcomes. I returned home only to check my mail and discover that I was admitted the same day I travelled and was awarded the $15k partial scholarship by the school (2 out of 3 checked). Of course, I was elated! I really was. That was a lot of reason to be really optimistic about the last scholarship.
Eventually, I did not get in for the scholarship which was a huge blow. I felt bad but remember I had sorta been prepared for this. It was now time to work on other alternatives (look for other funding opportunities, crowdfund maybe, or simply defer). I did not wear the ‘it’s all over‘ garment and think some enemies somewhere were responsible for what happened, nor did I blame anyone. I just was not selected!!!
Just so you know, I have not quitted (lol)! And I will do a part 3 of this article when I get the admission and scholarship I might put in for next year.
We what? We move!!!
What’s your perception about life and failing? Do you hate yourself for it and think less of yourself? Or do you devise a way to move on and do better?