Why does it have to be so hard to find true love?
Is there an exam of some sort, or a test to take before finding love? Or perhaps, it’s meant for a certain set of people. I guess so. Same way wealth is being shared, yeah?
Love is the most hyped word in existence, highly misconstrued and relatively misused. It’s little wonder that there are quite a large number of misconceptions about love.
Some people reckon love to piety, others say it’s unconditional, free from blemish whilst to others true love only comes once in a lifetime.
‘I love you’. I am still bemused by the magic this sentence can perform. It can turn a grey sky to soft blue, it can dry tears from bloodshot eyes, it can give, smash, and amidst all, it even has the effect of stopping time, oh what a sentence!
However, it should be understood that it just might make a tad of difference if people learned to understand love comes in different forms, shapes, and sizes.
The misconception is simply a mistaken belief, a wrong idea.
The misconceptions about love are like a string of patchy clouds; sometimes, a little rain is needed to make it clear.
Here are a few misconceptions about love:
1. Love is a perfect 100% ratio
No one gives 100% love. The sooner we realize, the better for us. However, everyone wants the same ratio poured into the stream of love.
Love breeds love, but it’s unrealistic to expect an accurate measurement of each gesture of affection.
We tend to keep scores of the acts of love we mete out. Try to give 60%, 70%, or more into relationships; sometimes, you are the stronger vessel. Fill others or light them up.
Sometimes there are hitches on the ratio too, every day is not Christmas, happiness doesn’t happen at all times.
2. Being loved cures loneliness
A high percentage of people have dabbled into ‘love’ as they call it because they feel it’s the cure to their loneliness.
Society is also not fair, we are made to believe single people are miserable. Alas, without self-love, your love life is headed for the rocks.
The stage of being single is a growth stage.
3. True love has no ends
They say true love has no bounds, how true is that? People have done a lot of unprintable things in the name of ‘love’.
‘If you love me, you will have sex with me’; ‘prove to me how much I mean to you’. Values have been trampled on.
It’s a lie from the pit of hell. There’s a difference between sacrifices and destruction.
Don’t change your life plan for someone’s benefit and allow yourself to be choked up in destructive behaviors that end up scarring you.
Read: 5 Ways Teenagers Can Avoid Sexual Activities
4. Loving someone means never letting go
Move away from toxic spaces. If it’s not healthy, you shouldn’t be there. Let them go!
A lot of people are stuck in an abusive relationship because of this crude thought.
On the other hand, the hurt is bred in some people’s hearts because a loved one died. They can’t wrap their heads around it, death is inevitable, it’s a debt we all have to pay someday. No one wants to pay so early, but when it happens, move on in good faith and cherish the memory.
5. Love is blind
Love has eyes everywhere; back, front, center, middle, rear end. Once it’s love, the eyes are wide open.
Don’t give a justification for the wrongdoings in a love relationship.
Love is open-eyed and willing to fix the loopholes. It sees the errors, flaws, imperfections, and all, but it’s willing to set it right and live with it.
Even if you are ‘blind’, love will help you regain your sight.
6. Love is a fairytale
I want to laugh out loud here, I am guilty, winks. All thanks to Nollywood, Hollywood, and the king of fairytale, Bollywood, this misconception has a huge effect.
We have been made to believe that love is a feeling. The ‘love at first sight’ narrative, with locked eyes, time at a stop, books falling, or feet tripping, ah I am turning this into a movie, lol.
You are still with me, yeah? Love is not a feeling, you experience emotions that are felt when you are in love like happiness and all.
Love is a verb, it’s an action word. It’s a decision, a move.
People end up being frustrated when issues come up, they thought it was going to be rosy 24 hours round the clock- all milk and butter, they had the perfect love story planned out. Wake up! We are not in Disneyland.
Love might find you in a bank queue or at a church service or on social media. The bottom line is don’t be myopic about how it comes. You might not get to decide that.
Love is not restricted to just one person. In case circumstances come up and you lose that one person you love, do not lock up your heart and dump the keys into the sea.
Look around you, this beautiful thing called love is willing to find you. If it doesn’t, you find it then.
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Forget what the camera tells you, or the shining faces on the media.
P.S: The good news is you are the doer of the action, you own the stage, you can make your love story into your fairytale.
Love is food to the soul, it fuels you differently. Never take true love for granted.
Earn love like a meal by making yourself worthy of giving and receiving love.
I love you dearly, yes! Because you just read this beautiful piece, you took an action. I am sending you peace, love, light, and deep hugs. Now, share with someone ❤.
Teens Meet Outreach 