The Danger of Destructive Comparison

Posted on by miracleiabraham

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”

‭‭ Galatians‬ ‭6:4-5‬ ‭MSG‬‬

Due to sharing an article this week, I was largely conflicted on what to write about, mostly because of my personal struggles that filled my thoughts. Then, it occurred to me while discussing with my friends how much progress we had made since the closure of schools. “Why not write about what you are battling with?” I thought. I just might not be alone in struggling with this crushing pressure of comparison.

For me, it began with reading or hearing about the successes and accomplishments of others, usually those of my age group. Genuinely happy, I would rejoice with and congratulate them, whether or not I knew them personally. Then, alone in the dead of the night, my mind would begin to involuntarily review my failures, and the pressure would begin to weigh on my heart.

The comparison that began with weighing my life against that of my favourite child stars tongue-in-cheek as a little girl, grew into an insecurity about the most basic things. I began to feel like I was always behind; like things always worked until it was my turn.

While researching this topic for my article, I came across the Bible verse above from Galatians chapter 6 and the message could not have been more aptly put.

One of the most important ways I have begun to fight the pressure of destructive comparison is to prioritise the careful exploration of my own persona, understanding my gifts, strengths and weaknesses and pursuing opportunities that would enable me build on them instead of blindly applying for the same things everyone was going for.

Slowly but surely, I have begun to discover the things I am truly passionate about; paths that stir in me a passion that ensures that the rejections are never strong enough to deter me.

{Read: What I Think Vs What I do}

I have also learned to take responsibility for my past choices, regardless of the nature of their outcomes. Often, I look at the progress of people I consider my colleagues and realise that I might be ahead of my present position if I had chosen differently. But I can’t change the past, neither can I demand that it be different than it was, so why centre my life on those regrets and stall my progress?

I have chosen to consciously believe in the predestination of a path that is the very best for me. I choose to believe that all things, absolutely all of them are indeed working towards a greater good for me. On some nights, it is not much comfort. I still struggle very much with destructive comparison. But I have chosen to never be held down; to ensure that I keep making progress regardless of how minute it may seem.

Have you ever struggled with destructive comparison? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments!

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16 thoughts on “The Danger of Destructive Comparison”

    1. That’s right, Victoria!
      We have to make a conscious effort to direct our energies towards our personal charted courses, no matter how difficult it is. 🤍

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  2. Simply and beautifully insightful. Most people these days tend to rush into areas they others succeed without realizing that they need to first understand themselves and their special abilities before going head first into something they don’t understand. Learning your strengths and improving them is a big factor in understanding that their abilities are not our abilities and we shouldn’t put ourselves down because they are ahead of us.

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    1. Learning your strengths and improving them really is an important process, though making the effort to undertake it is super herculean.

      Thank you, Chidi! 🤍

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  3. Thank you for this article Miracle. It immensely resonates with me. And I’m glad that someone finally put it out there;you have just told my story. It’s calming that I wasn’t/am not alone. It’s one thing to take cognizance of this. Admitting it and knowing how to fight is another. And then fighting the pressure is a different ball game on its own. I hope this reaches as many people as possible. Victory is ours. Well-done babe.

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    1. I’m glad it did, Greatness.
      You‘ll definitely discover more of the articles from TMO writers on the blog.
      Thank you so much! 🤍🤍

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      1. That’s so true, Praise.
        It’s a difficult journey, but we’ll definitely win at the end of it.

        Thank you so much! 🤍

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    1. I’m glad it does, Duchess.
      It’s difficult to fight that feeling, but it’s important to do it anyway; to keep going and keep being productive.

      Thank you for the love! 🤍

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  7. You literally just wrote everything bout me, pursuing what others are pursuing, feeling if I should go for other options I would have done better but this predestined path, I won’t look at my past failure I’ll keep being at my best even if the reward is minute, God help me.
    Thank you.

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    1. I’m so glad this resonated with you, Niles. We all feel that way on some level, actually. It’s amazing that you’ve taken action to leave the past behind and aim for your zenith. I wish you the very, very best! 🤍

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